I'd Rather Have You Than Keep A Dog

Clearly the UK's love affair with dogs means it is not always the case. To Catherine on her birthday 2017.

I'd rather have you than keep a dog

I'd rather have you than keep a dog

Yes, i would, i have thought about it, and i really would.

At least you haven’t got to be walked when its raining

And i dont generally have to come behind you and pick up your mess.

i just wish you would do what you are told a bit more and come to heel rather than walking three paces in front of me, or cycling off into the distance all the time. You do like to wander off from time to time, but you always come back, i can accept that.

Yes, you are loyal, protective, and only abandoned me once to danger that i can remember. You're pretty even tempered, and have to be severely provoked to bark, and you don't jump up at people, which i can’t tolerate.

It does exasperate me, however, when i have to call you again when food is on the table even though you have had the ten-minute warning,

Like a good old sheep dog, you are getting out and doing a good day's work again, rather than hanging around the house like some springer, playing with your toys, eagerly waiting 'the call', and you do take your dirty, wet clothes off when you come in-that’s definitely an advantage, i can’t stand the smell of wet fur.

You don't snore, that’s good, keep your bedding and stuff tidy and whilst it is nice to be kissed, slobbering is a no no! As for exposing or washing private parts in public...we won’t go there!!

Ok, you might not be the mighty handsome hunk of a beast you once were, but on the whole, you do keep pretty fit, and keeping you is much cheaper than running down to an expensive vet every five minutes. At least i have got more than say ten to fifteen years out of you as well!

Yes, all things considered, i am glad i have you rather than keep a dog.

 

PS. Cats, that’s a different matter.